I think the say goes something like “you don’t grow inside your comfort zone” with something prefacing or posting the saying. Before all of this, all of this awful ovarian cancer stuff, I stuck to a square box. I wasn’t necessarily comfortable there, but I was able to “control” what was happening around me…or so I thought. Since all of that, I’ve been pressing it and lately, I’ve been jumping out like a crazy person waving my arms around. Let’s just say I’ve become really good at being uncomfortable – I might not like it, but I’m mastering it!
Today was FULL of outside of my comfort zone type of things – let’s be honest, this entire week has been, and it’s about to become more of a regular occurrence. But let’s focus on today. What happened today you might ask??? Two things – I had my first group in-person wellness event AND I had my first virtual group meeting. Two things I led. Two things I put together. Two things that were so far out of the person I’d become used to – I stay inside the lines, this isn’t me…but guess what, you don’t grow inside the lines. you’ll never find out what you’re fully capable of. Why do we stay in these boxes??? Because we’re scared and/or afraid of failing, that’s why.
This afternoon we had a Basics Yoga Class at Blue Bird Yoga – it’s the studio I’ve been going to for around a year now. The place I go to relax, stretch things out and have a little “me” time. I had no idea who was coming, how many to expect, or would it just be me and my little family, so my anxiety level was high – what if no one wanted to do this?? Well, 20 of us did, and we had fun, despite the lovely pouring snow STL decided to have today!
This evening, I did another thing that I am NOT trained in, that I have NO idea how to handle, BUT it is something I think we need in not only the ovarian cancer community, but the gynecological cancer community, and virtual group meeting session, if you will. I had a list of things I wanted to achieve for Kick Ovarian Cancer this year – the main thing being a community feel for those effected by ovarian cancer. One of those components was group meetings where we could share things, find commonalities and hopefully help each other through something that isn’t necessarily the easiest. Some of us are still fighting the fight, others of us are out…but this whole life after thing, it’s not easy…NONE of this is easy. I was a nervous wreck, but I was hopeful, hopeful that it would help someone along the way, hopeful that the ladies would want to do this again.
What I’ve found through both of these things is that if you don’t ask, you’ll never know what can happen. Had I not asked Ellen and Sarah if hosting a wellness event at the studio was something they’d consider, the answer would have always been “no”. Had I not put a post on Instagram and Facebook about participating in a group meeting, no one would have ever shown. Sure, I could have put the message out there and no one could have commented or messaged me…but that didn’t end up being the case. We had a nice sized group for the first time, have a plan in place and hope to be able to move forward in a month from now with another meeting!
You see, if we stay inside the lines, in the little box that we create that is nice and comfortable, BUT NOT GREAT, we’re not really doing ourselves any favors…we’re comfortable, but we’re not growing. You’re staying in the same place you were, you may not be living to your fullest potential…and more than likely, it’s going to become boring. We look just like everything else. I don’t post all of these things for a pat on the back, or an “atta girl!” …I post them so that you can see BIG things, things outside of those black lines we’re all taught to live within (trust me, until 14 months ago, I was living right smack dab in the middle of those lines), are possible. They’re not only possible, but great things can come from them..you just have to take that step, that so-called leap of faith and believe in yourself. And maybe it won’t go great, it won’t every time…but maybe it will go okay or well, and sometimes that’s the goal…can’t knock it out of the park every time!