I’ve written before about the whole people being so worried about what to say, and saying the right thing…when in all honesty, all one needs to say is something, anything. And sometimes I feel like I should have the right words – I mean I’ve been through this, right?? I should know what to say in crappy situations – cancer, death, or other similar circumstances – but I don’t, and it frustrates me.
The end of this past week has been trying for two of my friends – both of whom there’s is nothing I can do to make the situations better. Both sent me messages to which a four letter word flew out of my mouth when I read the messages, followed by my head resting in my hands and me staring at my phone…what the heck do I say back to this?? C’mon, you should know what to say in situations like this. But I don’t…it’s times like this, I see how it may have been challenging to figure out what to say to me last year.
So what did I do?? Simple, what it came down to in both situations (different, yet similar) was me saying I was sorry, acknowledging that there was nothing I could do or say to make things better, if I could change things or say something to make it different, I would. But I can’t, I can’t fix this, I can’t waive a magic wand and change things – trust me, if I could, I’d be sprinkling fairy dust EVERYWHERE. I told them both I loved them and am here for them, no matter what, always…sometimes, I think that’s all you really need to hear. Let’s be honest, something is better than nothing…nothing is the worst.
I never wanted someone to come in and fix things for me – they weren’t fixable. I needed to learn how to manage everything that was happening to me on my own, I still do. I just wanted to people to walk along side me, so I didn’t feel like I was doing this alone – and some did, and others didn’t…because they wanted to fix it, and they couldn’t. Sometimes your roll is to simply listen and not try and make things better – I’m learning this isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, especially when you have a “fixer” mentality. And sometimes all the person needs to hear is “I love you” and “I’m here for you…always.” Sometimes they just need to know you are there for them, should they want to talk.